2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ESV
“ Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
Recently, I had to make the very sudden and traumatic decision to euthanize my dog, Bella.
I rescued Bella eight years ago right after losing my son but let me be very clear about something. She was really what I believe to be part of God’s rescue plan for me. So you might say we rescued each other. Eventually, I had her registered as an emotional support animal because she helped me so much through the grieving process and then later with other things like anxiety and depression.
At 11 years old, Bella still jumped around in excitement, greeted me at the door, and walked with me through some of life’s hardest circumstances. She was my best friend and losing her was devastating.
Because she was an older large breed dog, there were expected signs of aging. I knew my time with her was getting shorter and I started praying that if anything was going to happen to my girl, it would not be during my upcoming mission trip. I would be out of the country and unable to be there with her which would have been even worse.
I guess this was a prayer God felt he could answer more swiftly.
While I thank God daily for answering that prayer, it still hurts a lot. It feels a lot like it did when I lost my son, like the world had dropped out from under me and there was nothing to hold on to. Maybe that doesn’t make sense to you because she was ‘just a dog.’ We just may have to agree to disagree if that’s the case.
I’ve been asking God big, hard questions. Questions I hate asking because a part of me feels like they’re not “Christ-like”. I promise I’ll come back to that.
Just shy of a week after losing Bella, I sat at a table with a close friend of mine. She asked, “How are you really doing?” I immediately started crying and she grabbed my hand gently, listening to me blubber on about what a rough year it had been and then this…I just didn’t understand any of it. I had to smile when she asked if I wanted to cuddle close to her and just cry. This is truly a great friend.
Later, as I lay in bed missing Bella and all of our normal routines, I found myself crying to God, asking the same painful questions again.
Why, Lord? Why did she have to die like that? Why did it seem like everything in my life consistently felt so deep, dramatic and painful? Was this normal? I knew life wasn’t meant to be easy and we’re promised trouble and heart break but… it just seems like I consistently have to walk through some of the most painful circumstances of life.
Maybe you feel this way too. Maybe you just don’t understand why grief has such a strong presence in your life.
God graciously answered this prayer for me as swiftly as he had the other and I want to share it with you.
First, let me reassure you that God is not a God who abandons. In fact, Psalm 34:18 reminds us that God draws near to the broken hearted and saves those crushed in spirit. My mom has always told me that we can ask God the big stuff because he has BIG SHOULDERS.
Also, Romans 8:28 says that God works all things for good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose. Some things don’t feel like anything good can come from something so deeply sad, but stay with me.
Next, John 11:35 tells us ‘Jesus wept.’. That’s literally all the verse says. That short sentence says so much though. It says Jesus knew all too well how sorrow feels.
These verses are comforting because not only do they show how God joins us in our grief with love and empathy, but they also demonstrate that none of our suffering is wasted.
Grieving provides us with opportunity to draw near to God and lean into his big shoulders, and it provides an opportunity to walk alongside others who also grieve, and point them to Jesus.
Maybe you’re grieving something entirely different right now. No matter what it is; know that God is right there in the middle of it and he can hold you through the hard.
Note: So I tied this with last weeks devotion by saying that… maybe your ‘Here I am, Lord’ is you saying you can’t do much right now because your heart hurts. I want to reassure you here that that’s ok. Sometimes that’s all he wants from us. “I don’t understand this, this hurts, but here I am.” Because that’s when he will move and do his work. I’ll talk more about that soon! Our response to God and his response to us is constant, It’s how he lives relationally with us. Rest assured that he truly does have big shoulders and we can come to him with the hard stuff.
Leave a Reply